Emotional Self-Control
Consciously moderating your emotions and reactions. Although feeling emotions and being aware of them is part of this statement, so too is regulating them. Emotional self-control is about both awareness (being conscious of feelings) and action (managing emotions and knowing when and how to show them).
Recognizing feelings, understanding how and when to demonstrate those feelings appropriately, and taking responsibility for one’s emotions (versus being victims of them) are critical components of this capacity.
Posted by scott in EIL in General, Emotional Self-control Thursday, 7 April 2011 12:00 No Comments
Emotional self-control is about consciously moderating your emotions and reactions. Although feeling emotions and being aware of them is part of this statement, so too is regulating them. Emotional self-control is about both awareness (being conscious of feelings) and action (managing emotions and knowing when and how to show them). Recognizing feelings, understanding how and when to demonstrate those feelings appropriately, and taking responsibility for one’s emotions (vs. being victims of them) are critical components of this capacity. Of course, each of you reading this knows just how difficult this is to do at times.
Two quick thoughts from leadership scholars:
1. “To gain trust, the leader must have this capacity for self-regulation. This is the case when the leader is making major changes or just trying to stay on message , even when others are not supportive. The leader must be self-regulated to remain interested in what someone has to say, even after a 14-hour frustrating day. Again self-regulation means being in control of yourself and the way you behave with others” (Avolio and Luthans, 2007, p. 127).
2. “Self regulation is the ability to channel emotions into behavior that is appropriate for the situation, rather than responding with impulsive behavior (e.g., lashing out at someone who made you angry, or withdrawing into a state of depression after experiencing disappointment)” (Yukl, 2010, p. 213).
Pay close attention to your ability to regulate today. Likewise, pay attention to others and examine closely how this helps or hinders their ability to connect with, and lead others…SJA
Posted by scott in EIL in General, Emotional Self-control, Uncategorized Monday, 29 November 2010 09:54 No Comments
Emotional self-control is a difficult endeavor for many of us. Whether we are on the job, closing out the semester or spending a “relaxing” holiday at home, each of these settings are opportunities to practice healthy emotional self-control. Don’t believe me? How did everyone do before, during and/or after Thanksgiving dinner? I am sure an example will come to mind…
Examples of people not keeping their emotions in check are all around us and my brother-in-law turned me on to this example over Thanksgiving weekend. It seems that Monica Conyers had a difficult time controlling her emotions and perhaps this lead (in part) to her downfall. In the end, she was convicted to three years in prison for other less than desirable activities.
Now of course this is a bit of an extreme example but each one of us is challenged at one time or another. The trick is having the ability to recognize when our buttons are being pushed and having the skills to be more intentional about choosing a response versus letting the initial (often unhealthy) reaction(s) emerge. Easier said than done…right?


