Wednesday, Feb 22, 2012
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Consciousness of Self

Consciousness of self is obviously all about your identity, your priorities, your values, your strengths, your goals, and so on.

As Helgeson (2001) found in her research, people need to clearly understand themselves and what they have to offer to determine the best way for them to contribute and make a difference. If you are not working to better understand your motives, values, and inner workings, who will? Not only will this introspection result in some answers, but the process itself is also critical. For instance, when was the last time you had fun?  Who were you with? What  were you doing? Did you feel motivated?

Having an awareness of these and other factors can help you create more happiness. The more you know about the values, activities, people, organizations, topics and environments that energize you, the better equipped you are to place yourself in situations that will bring out your best.

Emotional Self-Control

Posted by scott in EIL in General, Emotional Self-control Thursday, 7 April 2011 12:00 No Comments

Emotional self-control is about consciously moderating your emotions and reactions.  Although feeling emotions and being aware of them is part of this statement, so too is regulating them. Emotional self-control is about both awareness (being conscious of feelings) and action (managing emotions and knowing when and how to show them). Recognizing feelings, understanding how and when to demonstrate those feelings appropriately, and taking responsibility for one’s emotions (vs. being victims of them) are critical components of this capacity. Of course, each of you reading this knows just how difficult this is to do at times.

Two quick thoughts from leadership scholars:

1. “To gain trust, the leader must have this capacity for self-regulation. This is the case when the leader is making major changes or just trying to stay on message , even when others are not supportive. The leader must be self-regulated to remain interested in what someone has to say, even after a 14-hour frustrating day. Again self-regulation means being in control of yourself and the way you behave with others” (Avolio and Luthans, 2007, p. 127).

2. “Self regulation is the ability to channel emotions into behavior that is appropriate for the situation, rather than responding with impulsive behavior (e.g., lashing out at someone who made you angry, or withdrawing into a state of depression after experiencing disappointment)” (Yukl, 2010, p. 213).

Pay close attention to your ability to regulate today. Likewise, pay attention to others and examine closely how this helps or hinders their ability to connect with, and lead others…SJA

Emotional Self-Control (or lack thereof)

Posted by scott in EIL in General, Emotional Self-control, Uncategorized Monday, 29 November 2010 09:54 No Comments

Emotional self-control is a difficult endeavor for many of us. Whether we are on the job, closing out the semester or spending a “relaxing” holiday at home, each of these settings are opportunities to practice healthy emotional self-control. Don’t believe me? How did everyone do before, during and/or after Thanksgiving dinner? I am sure an example will come to mind…

Examples of people not keeping their emotions in check are all around us and my brother-in-law turned me on to this example over Thanksgiving weekend. It seems that Monica Conyers had a difficult time controlling her emotions and perhaps this lead (in part) to her downfall. In the end, she was convicted to three years in prison for other less than desirable activities.

Now of course this is a bit of an extreme example but each one of us is challenged at one time or another. The trick is having the ability to recognize when our buttons are being pushed and having the skills to be more intentional about choosing a response versus letting the initial (often unhealthy) reaction(s) emerge. Easier said than done…right?

Immunity to Change

Posted by scott in EIL in General, Honest Self-understanding Saturday, 30 October 2010 11:42 No Comments

I had the honor of working with Robert Kegan at the annual ILA Conference in Boston earlier this week. In my introduction, I mentioned that he has an incredible mind, has the ability to connect with his audience and a deep passion for his work. This yields a unique and inspiring combination. His latest work with Lisa Lahey is called Immunity to Change.

The book (and the activity upon which is it based) is one of the most powerful developmental tools I have come across in my work. I have used this activity with college students and professionals across industries and recommend it to anyone working to help others gain honest self-understanding. Check it out and while at their website (www.mindsatwork.com) note that they have a train-the-trainer workshop next April. (SJA)

 

The EIL Suite

Image of Emotionally Intelligent Leadership for Students: Development Guide

Capacities:

  • Authenticity
  • Capitalizing on Difference
  • Change Agent
  • Coaching
  • Conflict Management
  • Citizenship
  • Environmental Awareness
  • Group Savvy
  • Developing Relationships
  • Empathy
  • Influence
  • Inspiration
  • Teamwork
  • Achievement
  • Emotional Self-Control
  • Emotional Self-Perception
  • Flexibility
  • Honest Self-understanding
  • Healthy Self-esteem
  • Initiative
  • Optimism

Being transparent and trustworthy. Authenticity is a complex concept that emphasizes the importance of being trustworthy, transparent, and living in a way in which words match actions and vice versa. This is no small order.  Beingauthentic means, in part, that emotionally intelligent leaders follow through on commitments and present.

Found in: Consciousness of Self

Building on assets that come from differences with others. Capitalizing on difference suggests that differences are seen as assets, not barriers. Difference may mean race, socio-economic status, religion, sexual orientation, or gender as well as ability, personality, or philosophy. When capitalized upon, these differences create a larger perspective — a more inclusive view. Emotionally intelligent leaders use these differences as an opportunity to help others grow, develop, and ultimately capitalize on them.

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Seeking out and working with others toward new directions. As change agents, emotionally intelligent leaders look for opportunities for improvement or innovation — they think about possibilities and are future oriented. They see how change may benefit one person, an organization, or a whole community, and work to make this change happen.

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Helping others enhance their skills and abilities. Emotionally intelligent leaders know that they cannot do everything themselves. They need others to become a part of the endeavor. Coaching is about intentionally helping others demonstrate their talent and requires the emotionally intelligent leader to prioritize the time to foster the development of others in the group — not just themselves.

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Identifying and resolving problems and issues with others. Emotionally intelligent leaders understand that conflict is part of any leadership experience. When managed effectively, conflict can foster great innovation. At times conflict is overt and may involve anger, raised voices, or high
levels of frustration. Other times conflict is below the surface and shows itself only through cliques, side conversations, and apathy. Emotionally intelligent leaders are aware of these dynamics and work to manage them.

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Recognizing and fulfilling your responsibility for others or the group. Emotionally intelligent leaders must be aware of what it means to be a part of something bigger than themselves. An essential component is to fulfill the ethical and moral obligations inherent in the values of the community. As a result, emotionally intelligent leaders know when to give of themselves for the benefi t of others and the larger group.

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Thinking intentionally about the environment of a leadership situation. The larger system, or environment, directly influences an individual’s ability to lead.

Aspects of the environment affect the psychological and interpersonal dynamics of any human interaction. Emotionally intelligent leaders are in tune with a variety of factors such as community traditions and customs, the political environment, and major institutions (e.g., religion, government).

Found in: Consciousness of Context

Interpreting the situation and/or networks of an organization. Every group has written/unwritten rules, ways of operating, customs and rituals, power dynamics, internal politics, inherent values and so forth. Emotionally intelligent leaders know how to diagnose and interpret these dynamics. Demonstrating group savvy enables one to have a direct influence on the work of the group.

Found in: Consciousness of Context

Creating connections between, among, and with people. Developing relationships is a skill as well as a mind-set. This capacity requires emotionally intelligent leaders to build relationships and create a sense of trust and mutual interest. Simply put, individuals, groups, and organizations are stronger, smarter, and more effective when they are rooted in and facilitate positive relationships

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Understanding others from their perspective. Emotionally intelligent leadership and, more specifically, the capacity of empathy are about perceiving the emotions of others. When leaders display empathy, they have the opportunity to build healthier relationships, manage difficult  situations,and develop trust more effectively. Being empathetic requires an individual to have a high level of self – awareness as well as awareness of others.

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Demonstrating skills of persuasion. Emotionally intelligent leaders have the ability to persuade others with information, ideas, emotion, behavior, and a strong commitment to organizational values and purpose. They involve others to engage in a process of mutual exploration and action.

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Motivating and moving others toward a shared vision. Being perceived as an inspirational individual by others is an important capacity of emotionally intelligent leadership. Inspiration works through relationships. Effective leadership entails generating feelings of optimism and commitment to organizational goals through individual actions, words, and accomplishments.

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Working effectively with others in a group. Emotionally intelligent leaders know how to work with others to bring out the best in each team member. By facilitating good communication, creating shared purpose, clarifying roles, and facilitating results, emotionally intelligent leaders foster group cohesion and truly develop a sense of togetherness that leads to desired results.

Found in: Consciousness of Others

Being driven to improve according to personal standards. An important nuance of this capacity is the role of personal standards. Individuals often know achievement when they see and feel it. Instead of letting others define what achievement looks like, emotionally intelligent leaders pursue their passions and goals to a self – determined level of accomplishment. This drive produces results and may inspire others to become more focused in their efforts or to work at increased levels as well.

Found in: Consciousness of Self

Consciously moderating your emotions and reactions. Although feeling emotions and being aware of them is part of this statement, so too is regulating them. Emotional self-control is about both awareness (being conscious of feelings) and action (managing emotions and knowing when and how to show them). Recognizing feelings, understanding how and when to demonstrate those feelings appropriately, and taking responsibility for one’s emotions (versus being victims of them) are critical components of this capacity.

Found in: Consciousness of Self

Identifying your emotions and reactions and their impact on you. Emotional self-perception means that individuals are acutely aware of their feelings (in real time). In addition, emotional self – perception means understanding how these feelings lead to behaviors. Having emotional self-perception also means that emotionally intelligent leaders have a choice as to how they respond. This capacity enables one to differentiate between the emotions felt and the actions taken. In most situations, both healthy and unhealthy responses are available.

Found in: Consciousness of Self

Being open and adaptive to changing situations. The best laid plans don’t always come to fruition, so emotionally intelligent leaders need to be responsive to change and open to feedback. By thinking creatively and using their problem – solving skills, emotionally intelligent leaders engage others in determining a new way to reach their goals.

Found in: Consciousness of Self

Being aware of your own strengths and limitations. Honest self- understanding means that an individual celebrates and honors their strengths and talents while acknowledging and addressing limitations. Honest self-understanding means accepting the good and bad about one’s personality, abilities, and ideas. When emotionally intelligent leaders demonstrate honest self-understanding, they embody a foundational capacity of effective leadership — the ability to see a more holistic self and understand how this impacts their leadership.

Found in: Consciousness of Self

Having a balanced sense of self. Emotionally intelligent leaders possess a high level of self-worth, are confident in their abilities, and are willing to stand up for what they believe in. They are also balanced by a sense of humility and the ability to create space for the opinions, perspectives, and thoughts of others.

To learn more about this capacity click on the following links to best suit your interests: multimedia, resources, learning activities.”

Wanting and seeking opportunities. Emotionally intelligent leaders understand and take initiative. This means being assertive and seeking out opportunities. Emotionally intelligent leaders have to both see the opportunity for change and make it happen. Demonstrating initiative means that individuals take action and help the work of the group move forward.

Found in: Consciousness of Self

Emotionally intelligent leaders demonstrate a healthy, positive outlook and display a positive regard for the future. Optimism is a powerful force that many overlook. When demonstrated effectively, optimism is contagious and spreads throughout a group or organization.

Found in: Consciousness of Self